This weekend has been extremely tiring, to say the least. Friday, I had Relay for Life, counting all of the money that participants raise and not getting any sleep until 7 am. While the night started off well, after 2 am it got to the point where I REALLY wanted to flip over a table because of my frustration of some of the numbers being off. In the end, however, we ended up raising over $60,000 for cancer research, and while we may have not met our goal, it was something that I am definitely proud of. And considering the fact that we had many changes in the people helping to set up the event and a relatively young committee, I believe that everyone should be absolutely thrilled with the work that was done. With that, however, came a dreadful Saturday in which I woke up at 3:30pm and was just drained physically and emotionally all day. Sunday was better, but still tiring...hopefully that will change this upcoming week...AS I GO HOME THIS UPCOMING WEEKEND!!! YES!!!!!!!
Ok...now that sort of the recap part of the post is done, time for sort of a mini-rant/vent/not-really-either-it-is-just-a-closure-sort-of-thing paragraph...and no, it is not about KU laying an egg Sunday against VCU (And Markieff Morris being two turnovers away from a triple-double). If you wish to skip this part...your call. I just wanted to put some closure on an issue (blame the Relay fatigue). So I know that I have said before that I have the worst luck when it comes to relationships...yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah, man I suck, whatever. But after years of being down on myself about this (and yes, this has been since high school), it finally...yes, FINALLY...clicked in my head that there is nothing wrong with being single. You could say it is part of one of my goals for closing out my college career in "Being Happy With Who I Am" in the past, I have been envious about other couples and such, but it seems that things have finally clicked for some reason.
And in case some people were wondering, yes I have heard a good amount of the negative stigmas about Creighton guys: "We make great friends, but nothing really past that," the beer-goggles theory that make us look attractive, "All of the attractive guys at Creighton are either taken or gay," that we just suck in general...and I am sure there are others. It's even better when I hear these in front of me and then I comment about it and somehow people try to make me feel better about myself by saying, "Oh well, you are an exception" or try to think of another criteria that I would fit into. I know people don't try to intentionally hurt me but it does sting a little bit.
Hey, I'll admit it: I'm nerdy; I say weird things sometimes; I tend to steal a bunch of things from TV shows/video games/podcasts (I listen to a podcast called "Nerdist"...enough said); I tend to reference stuff that most people do not get at all; I am not really attractive at all (I consider myself middle-of-the-road, but attractive in my own way); I couldn't get a date to junior high prom (throwback); the only reason I got a date to high school prom was that I overheard someone not having a date (throwback #2); I've been single on Valentine's Day for 22 years in a row (it's hard to get a gf as an infant); I've made some bone-headed mistakes; people have put me in the friend zone before (and vice versa). And it has finally reached the point where I am OK with it. I feel like this is what makes me a unique person. Eventually, would I like to be one of the guys who has a gf? Yeah sure, and who knows? Maybe it will be someone that I least expected. However, it really isn't at the top of the list as far as concerns. I have come to the realization that it is better to have a core group of friends that will have your back no matter what (both male and female) than stressing out about who, as the cool kids say, "Likes me, likes me."
(sigh of relief) That's a relief to get that out of my system. Hopefully it wasn't too confusing and yet somewhat interesting (and somewhat amusing). Maybe that wasn't as "not happy" as I thought it would be. I certainly feel better about myself
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