Time to head back to sch...oh, wait

It is weird being at home and not going back to Omaha when school starts. Granted, I did not do that last year, as I stayed in Omaha during the summer working the front desk (which seems like a distant memory now). It is somewhat sad not going back to Omaha to see other Creighton students...but I am really down on myself as I am happy to be home.

For those of you who haven't really heard from me, I am back in Lawrence working a temporary "Production Support Specialist" position at Hallmark Cards, where my dad works. It essentially consists of stocking boxes, sending the pallets of stock to the warehouse, and using SAP software to do many of my tasks that my position requires. The shift for this job is terrible: midnight to 8:30 am, Monday-Friday, and it took me months before I received all of the training that I needed. It has been nice to make some good money, but the job is not favorable AT ALL. (Plus, it wouldn't surprise me if I was the youngest person working there).

Currently I have been looking for jobs elsewhere, predominately in Omaha and around Minneapolis, also I may be looking elsewhere pretty soon. It has been a rough ride trying a job and working my current job, but it is still nice to be home with a supportive family, especially since they know that a) I am actually working and making money and b) I am actively looking for other jobs. In addition to that, seeing my miniature pinscher Brutus and all of the energy that he has makes me even happier (and the reason he has all of that energy is that he sleeps about 15-18 hours a day).

Even though things haven't gone as planned for me, being at home and spending most of my day without many people around me has actually been helpful. I have been able to sort of reflect on my past four years of college and I have just been able to relax. Also, instead of listening to music to help calm me down, I have been listen to podcasts (most of them being comedy). What started with just Sklarbro Country, has evolved into listening to 'The Nerdist', 'Jordan, Jesse Go!', 'The Indoor Kids', 'Walking the Room', and more recently 'The Mental Illness Happy Hour'. All of them are very good podcasts, and while most of them are for entertainment, I have actually learned a lot of things such as how to deal with pressure and certain aspects of life. In addition to this, it is nice to here that some of the celebrities/comedians actually appreciate what they have earned and are not taking it for granted. These podcasts have really cheered me up in certain situations and have really spiked my interest in comedy. It may not be the most popular things, but you already know how I feel about people who judge me.

Also, it has been nice to talk to my friend Sean, who is now at Creighton Law School. There were times when other people were not available to talk, he was there to help me out with some of the problems I was having in my life. Although I kind of lost contact with him after he started law school, I still found some time to talk to him as well. I am glad that we are talking to each other more often, whether it would be about life in general, girls, soccer, or those law school parties that I promise to get invited to but never do...and maybe that's a good thing.

Anyways, that is an update about me and my life so far. Hopefully those of you that I have been reading my other blog are enjoying it somewhat, even if some of the topics are kind of not-mainstream. These are just stuff that I can talk about that was most interesting to me, some of it which I couldn't talk about in person. Here is the link to that blog http://wernernelson.wordpress.com I hope everyone is doing well and good luck to those starting up school currently.

August Life Update

Hello everybody...just an update on how things are going. I am still looking for jobs as I am working my temporary job...right now I am really not counting on anything, but it is the perfect time to look since work is rather slow at the moment with not much stuff being produced. I did work my first weekend of overtime...and made over $500 in two days (which is more than I made after a month at the desk). The job isn't too fun AT ALL, but at least I am making some money...especially since I got notices about when I start payments on my loans (perfect time to drop over $1,000 on a new computer, right?)

Other than that, nothing too exciting. I have been writing in my new blog on WordPress, and you can expect to see some sort of post every Sunday (hopefully). There will be some things that may get posted in the middle of the week, but expect something every Sunday at least. In the meantime, check out my WordPress blog. It is about topic that are of interest to me and are not even close to being as down and depressing as this blog can be http://wernernelson.wordpress.com

That is all for now. I hope everyone is doing well...and to those going back to school, hopefully you are not too stressed out about the upcoming year

Blog(s) Update

Hello, those who are reading this blog!

Just so you know, in case you haven't heard, I am starting a new blog on WordPress that will share my opinion about various topics that I find interesting. I will still use this blog as much as I can, but it will be more for catching people up on what is going on in my life. The blog on WordPress is something that I want to use to expand on other various topics that interest me, like sports and some geeky stuff that I enjoy.

If you wish to read this new blog (and the first post that I have up) here is the link http://wernernelson.wordpress.com/. You can even subscribe if you choose to.

Oh and as for an update on my temp job? It sucks. That is all.

Day Sleeping

Even with a painful sleep schedule (this past Monday was the first time in about two or three weeks that I woke up before noon), I am starting to get more comfortable with my temporary job. The first couple weeks were painful...having to learn things on the fly while not being trained to use certain vehicles. However, I am starting to get the hang of it and using my own system to get things done (a.k.a. WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN that I need to...it seriously helps). I am the youngest person working there (at least on my shift) and as the majority of the people work are in their 30s or older.The hours may be unfavorable and the work sometimes not as pleasant, but having a well-paying job, even if it is temporary, is better than no job at all. And if I made the stupid decision to quit, there would be somebody more than willing to take my spot.

I plan to pick up the permanent job search again soon. I unfortunately did not get the job that I interviewed for at Harrah's, so the search continues. Otherwise, it is nice to be home...eating home-cooked meals, spending time with the family, reading books (gasp!!!), finding new podcasts to listen to, and successfully cutting down on how much I tweet on Twitter (because Twitter does not = Facebook and does not replace texting, which took me a while to learn :P). I will try to post more often than once a month...just to touch up on the old writing skills for those who are interested...and now, once again back to sleep before work.

(Insert catching sign-off phrase here)

(Creative Title for Endless Summer Day 42)

Ugh...driving takes a lot out of me...and I hope I don't have to do too much driving like that for a while. In between spending some time with friends during my trips (and I very much appreciate them letting me stay at their places) to endlessly watching/reading coverage of the great nerd gathering known as the Electronic Entertainment Expo (I still drooling over Mass Effect 3...), I was trying to not worry about where I was going to be since I have graduated.

This past weekend I drove from Lawrence to Omaha for the night...and then from Omaha to Eden Prairie so I would be able to interview for a job in Minnesota. It was a job in Sports and Entertainment marketing, which was something I was very much interested in...unfortunately the job was not what I expected it to be. Sadly, it was much more directed towards sales than I thought, which I am not really a fan of. Even with this, I learned two things: 1) The fact that I was able to get a second interview was an accomplishment and 2) I am able to drive over long distances by myself (and yes, that is an accomplishment for me). So with that, I am now transitioning to my temporary job at Hallmark...yes it is third shift (the shift STARTS at midnight), but then again it pays well...very well.

And while I work at my temp job starting Sunday night/Monday morning...the job search continues...

Post-Graduation Blues

It has been a busy ride these past couple of weeks: Finals Week, senior week, graduation weekend, moving out of the apartment, looking for jobs etc...so I have not really had much time to blog. The job search is still ongoing, as currently I am looking in Omaha, Lawrence, and Kansas City, but I will be looking in other places too. Thankfully I will most likely have a temp job until I find the job that I want. It pays well...but the hours I will possibly be working SUCK (midnight to 8:30 am...Monday thru Friday). Still staying optimistic though.

I can't believe that my four years at Creighton have flown by so fast. It seems like just yesterday I was in Kiewit as a part of the Freshman Leadership Program, and now I am the first person in my family to graduate. My college experience completely trumped my high school experience...by a longshot. I met so many fantastic people at Creighton, whether it be living on the same floor as them, or people that passed by the Swanson Front Desk. Even with people that I first met senior year of college, it seemed like I knew them all four years, and so many of the graduates are off to do great things now. The university did have some of its imperfections, but unlike high school, I definitely plan to stay in contact with many of the people that I befriended while at Creighton. Thank you so much again to the Creightonites for making my time at Creighton awesome. Hopefully I will be able to see many of those people again

That's it for now...keeping the post short. If any job news comes up, I will definitely keep people updated

I Don't Know If You Heard But...

READER'S NOTE: This is a response to all of the celebrations about Osama deaths as well as the various quotes thrown out by people who opposed the celebrations...which, by the way, both need to stop because they are getting really annoying.

In case you have been hiding in a hole or have really been studying that intently for finals over the past few days, you probably have heard that Osama bin Laden was killed. Sadly, it also took the lives of innocent citizens, which has cause a huge debate from people, ESPECIALLY Creighton students about how we should view his death. Some of people are excited for his death, as he has been connected with many terrorist attacks including 9/11. Others are disgusted that we are celebrating the death of a human being, even if  it is a guy who as done many bad things as Osama. While it has been big news, I have started to get really sick of the continuing statuses about the issues, from those still celebrating to those throwing quote after quote after quote about how we "should not celebrate the death of a human being", "We are no better" "an eye for an eye..." etc, etc...and many of these quotes were spoken by historical figures that I admired.

So, I decided to do the only logical thing to combat this...by offering my opinion and then never, ever EVER speaking about the issue again

Let me first start off by saying this...I against the current war we are having, having troops in at least three countries in the Middle East for what seems to have been an endless amount of time. I am also very sad to see people in the Middle East that had nothing to do with the terrorist attacks being caught in the crossfire between U.S. and whatever opposing troops there may be. I am upset that billions of dollars that could be going to go to our country are going towards the war.

That being said, I support our troops Infinite %, as they have volunteered to give their lives for protecting this country's rights and freedom. I have a gynormous amount of respect for those people who fight in our armed forces, and there is no way in the world that I could do even one-tenth of the stuff they do or one-hundredth of the shit that they have to go through. Major kudos to them and all that they are doing.

Now onto my view of the OBL...there are people who are absolutely thrilled with the death of Osama, others are not too thrilled, especially since it cost many innocent civilians their lives. I admit that the death of Osama has lost some zing, as there as terrorist organizations that are more dangerous than Al-Qaeda at this point. In addition to this, I understand that there are risks involved with killing bin Laden, such as more terrorist attacks happening overseas, even possibly one in America. I am not so irrational as to think that this is the end of terrorism as we know it...because I know it is not. I am not really celebrating the death of Osama bin Laden the person, but more so the threat and fear that bin Laden imposed to so many people not only in the United States, but across many different countries.

From a personal standpoint, I must say this: I have absolutely no sympathy for a person such as Osama bin Laden. I have absolutely no sympathy for a person that plans out a mass attack to intentionally kill innocent civilians. And if he would have stayed alive and died through "natural causes", no amount of near-death repentance (and I don't even think he would have done that) would convince me to forgive him for what he has done...I don't even care if he somehow rebuilt the entire World Trade Center with his bare hands.

Although it is not to the same degree at all, trying to get me to forgive Osama is like trying to get me to forgive Fred  Phelps and his congregation for celebrating peoples' deaths from natural disasters and protesting the funerals of soldiers. Trying to get me to forgive Osama is like trying to get me to "understand" why a KKK member believes what he believes. Hell, trying to get me to forgive Osama is like trying to get me to forgive Mike Vick for his dogfighting ring (and no, I have not forgiven him yet). I am not so convinced anyways that if we would have detained bin Laden instead of killed him, he would have "learned from his mistakes."

When I first heard about Osama's death, I was one of the people who was very happy to hear the news because of the fact that the face of fear that was in the United States was now gone. The number one reason I feel this way is the impact that 9/11 has had on the families and the country. Those who were at ground zero and rescuing people during the attack are just now able to receive benefits if they now have chronic health problems (The Zadroga (spelling?) Bill). For almost 10 years, families affected by 9/11 have had the cloud of Osama bin Laden hanging over their heads. While this death may not bring their loved ones back, it could possibly provide some closure to them. I heard a story where a 9/11 widow was on a plane and cried when she heard about bin Laden's death. The entire cabin consoled her during the flight, which showed that nobody has forgotten about those terrorists attacks.

On Monday's "The Daily Show" Jon Stewart talk about Osama bin Laden, and being from New York, Stewart was obviously very happy, and he even said "I am too close to this whole thing to even be rational." However, at the end of the segment he did say something that caught my attention: "We're back baby." For a long time, America has lived under a cloud of fear since 9/11, and the now disappeared cloud of fear from Osama bin Laden may give everyone in the U.S., from the troops, to the government officials, to the citizens, a boost of confidence as we move on, even though we face a tough road ahead.

Yes, there were risks...nothing comes without risk. There will be (and are) people who are against what we did. But who knows? Maybe this is the shot of confidence this country (and other countries afflicted by bin Laden's fear) needs...maybe this will help us recover and unite as a country...maybe this will help to ease tensions somewhat between Muslims and non-Muslims (which I hear almost NOBODY talking about at all after this whole incident).

And I know I will make some people unhappy. I know that this won't be retweeted on Twitter or shared on facebook...I know that a grand total of three people will read this blog post. But it didn't keep me from typing this. After all, I am just doing what many people (including some who have throwing out quote after quote after quote) have told me to do from time to time...staying optimistic.

Almost There...

Hey everybody...sorry for so a long delay...it has been a crazy week with...well...dead week coming up...finals week coming up...and...most importantly...GRADUATION.

Yes...I am two weeks away from being done with school...barring a catastrophic collapse...and three weeks away from obtaining my degree (or two degrees since I am double majoring). It has definitely been a wild ride so far, and after a rough start/first half to my semester, things have been looking up grade wise the second half of the semester. While some senioritis has set in somewhat, I have surprisingly done a much better job of focusing than I thought. It is a good thing, because I will need that focus in the next couple of weeks: Exam thursday, research paper due this Friday...and then my finals weeks has two presentations Monday, presentation thursday at 8 am, and then exam on Friday that I unfortunately can't get out of sadly...but hey...you win some you lose some. I am already done with one class, but it is the class I am most worried about. It seems though, based on my professor's response to my concerns

As far as the job search goes...no I have not found one yet. However, I am keeping one of the goals I have had of being more optimistic and keep on searching. The dreaded "talk-with-mom/dad-about-what-I-am-going-to-do-with-my-life" talk actually didn't go as bad as I thought it would, so I am happy about that...very happy. Even though things have been very slow for me, it is definitely nice to know that my parents are supporting me in whatever I do, and I know for a fact that they are excited for me to graduate.

Personally, I have been able to keep my composure and not get down on myself when things do not go my way. I had a fantastic Thursday night being able to relax and have fun playing N64 and Xbox for six hours, so thanks to Scott, Will, Mike, Pat (Miranda), Bill, and a few of Scott's residents for that. Even better, I've been able to be very productive while at home for Easter Break (bonus points for Werner). At the same time, I have been able to think about the future...job searching, how I am going to budget things, lifestyle changes, etc. While I am nervous, I am also very excited to go through the next chapter of my life.

I know I posted this on my Twitter, but if you haven't seen this, read this post by a comedian I have started to listen to and appreciate, Chris Hardwick.

http://tinyurl.com/3sk2oq3

I know it may seem like the generic "You Can Do It!" message, his way of saying it really made an impression on me, and being able to see his transformation is also astounding to me. A short, but worthwhile read.

Happy Easter to everybody out there, and good luck with last two weeks of the semester...especially to my fellow seniors!!

Relay really takes it out of me...

This weekend has been extremely tiring, to say the least. Friday, I had Relay for Life, counting all of the money that participants raise and not getting any sleep until 7 am. While the night started off well, after 2 am it got to the point where I REALLY wanted to flip over a table because of my frustration of some of the numbers being off. In the end, however, we ended up raising over $60,000 for cancer research, and while we may have not met our goal, it was something that I am definitely proud of. And considering the fact that we had many changes in the people helping to set up the event and a relatively young committee, I believe that everyone should be absolutely thrilled with the work that was done. With that, however, came a dreadful Saturday in which I woke up at 3:30pm and was just drained physically and emotionally all day. Sunday was better, but still tiring...hopefully that will change this upcoming week...AS I GO HOME THIS UPCOMING WEEKEND!!! YES!!!!!!!

Ok...now that sort of the recap part of the post is done, time for sort of a mini-rant/vent/not-really-either-it-is-just-a-closure-sort-of-thing paragraph...and no, it is not about KU laying an egg Sunday against VCU (And Markieff Morris being two turnovers away from a triple-double). If you wish to skip this part...your call. I just wanted to put some closure on an issue (blame the Relay fatigue). So I know that I have said before that I have the worst luck when it comes to relationships...yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah, man I suck, whatever. But after years of being down on myself about this (and yes, this has been since high school), it finally...yes, FINALLY...clicked in my head that there is nothing wrong with being single. You could say it is part of one of my goals for closing out my college career in "Being Happy With Who I Am" in the past, I have been envious about other couples and such, but it seems that things have finally clicked for some reason.

And in case some people were wondering, yes I have heard a good amount of the negative stigmas about Creighton guys: "We make great friends, but nothing really past that," the beer-goggles theory that make us look attractive, "All of the attractive guys at Creighton are either taken or gay," that we just suck in general...and I am sure there are others. It's even better when I hear these in front of me and then I comment about it and somehow people try to make me feel better about myself by saying, "Oh well, you are an exception" or try to think of another criteria that I would fit into. I know people don't try to intentionally hurt me but it does sting a little bit.

Hey, I'll admit it: I'm nerdy; I say weird things sometimes; I tend to steal a bunch of things from TV shows/video games/podcasts (I listen to a podcast called "Nerdist"...enough said); I tend to reference stuff that most people do not get at all; I am not really attractive at all (I consider myself middle-of-the-road, but attractive in my own way); I couldn't get a date to junior high prom (throwback); the only reason I got a date to high school prom was that I overheard someone not having a date (throwback #2); I've been single on Valentine's Day for 22 years in a row (it's hard to get a gf as an infant); I've made some bone-headed mistakes; people have put me in the friend zone before (and vice versa). And it has finally reached the point where I am OK with it. I feel like this is what makes me a unique person. Eventually, would I like to be one of the guys who has a gf? Yeah sure, and who knows? Maybe it will be someone that I least expected. However, it really isn't at the top of the list as far as concerns. I have come to the realization that it is better to have a core group of friends that will have your back no matter what (both male and female) than stressing out about who, as the cool kids say, "Likes me, likes me."

(sigh of relief) That's a relief to get that out of my system. Hopefully it wasn't too confusing and yet somewhat interesting (and somewhat amusing). Maybe that wasn't as "not happy" as I thought it would be. I certainly feel better about myself

Life Update (or Up-dizzle, whichever you prefer)

I will try to keep this post short (although I know for a fact that I will probably end up failing at that). In my last post, I decided to outline a set of goals for myself about what I wanted to accomplish as I finished out my college career. Believe it or not, after coming up these goals, things have been much better for me personally. I capped off a fantastic weekend of being a nerd for a night (Halo: Reach LAN Night) hanging out with really good friends on Saturday, and intramural soccer successes (well...one draw and one win) on Saturday. Even more impressive is that my NCAA tourney bracket is still somewhat intact (and KU is in the Sweet 16). But besides the point, it was a fantastic weekend.

Even better was gathering over $10,000 Monday night for Relay for Life at Bank Night, and Tuesday? Class canceled and a test is postponed til next week. Also, over the past few days, I have been able to gain a huge boost of optimism when it comes to my job search. So in the end, I am much more optimistic than I was weeks ago (thumbs up). Oh yeah...and I forgot one more goal that I had.

Finish the semester strong: Over the past couple of semesters in the 2nd half of them, I tend to trail off in my studies and sort of slack off. This semester, I cannot afford to do that, especially since one slipup could cost me a chance to graduate in May. So I really have to watch myself and finish strong.

However, I must end on a somber note...I am retiring the front desk blog...mostly because I have not updated that blog at all since I started writing for my personal blog. However, at the end of the my semester, I do plan on having a special treat posted on this blog about the desk...which means it will probably disappoint anyways...don't worry it won't (or at least it shouldn't).

Let's hope this optimistic train continues (and so much for this post being short). And with the retiring of the desk blog, I might need a new name for the new blog. Suggestions, anyone? (if any, of course)

Goals to Finish Out My College Career

Yes, two blogs in two days is a rarity from me, since I usually only blog once every two weeks. However, I was really thinking about how I was going to finish my college career. While it has been a rough semester (and to think this would be an easy semester :P), it doesn't mean that I can't finish it on a positive note. Here are a few goals that I have for myself, and maybe this will help those who may be graduating in the future (and let's just hope that I stick to these)

Don't let small things get me down: There are times when things that should be very minor tend to get the best of me. The worst part is that it will sometimes take me a while to get over some things and am afraid to face some of these issues head on because I am worried about awkwardness or doing something wrong. However, I must learn that things are not always gonna go my way, and it is how you react to these issues that are the most important.

Stay Optimistic: I have been on the hunt for jobs and so far the job hunt has not gone as well as I would have liked to. Many people have found jobs already, and sometimes I feel like I am waaaaaaaay behind other people, which may be my own fault. However, I have to learn to keep my head up and remember that there are many people in the same position that I am in. I just have to Keep on Truckin' (as Eddie Kendricks would say) and know that it will pay off soon.

Be More Cheerful: Another thing that I want to do is try to be more upbeat around other people. I have realize that in the past, people somewhat see me as a somewhat cheerful person, and it concerns people whenever I am not cheerful. Unfortunately, there are times when I just act cheerful when I not really feeling this way at all. I sometimes don't want other to deal with my problems, because I feel like I will burden them. However, I have met some fantastic people here at Creighton and have been able to maintain a couple of close friendships with people back in Lawrence. Plus, I have my parents as well. I just need to get myself to talk about these problems with people who are willing to listen, as it will help me feel better about things.

Enjoy Who I Am As a Person: While I may not be the most appealing person or the most attractive person (check that...I know that I am not the most attractive person. haha), it doesn't mean I have to change who I am as a person. I have already concluded that I am a huge nerd when it comes to certain things, such as sports, video games, sometimes TV shows...and I won't change my personality for anyone in order to make me more appealing. As long as I am respectful to the people that I know, people will learn to embrace some of the qualities of me as a person. I cannot control people's opinions really...I can only control how I act.

These are just a few things that I thought of personally...hopefully these will help me get me get through this semester. And hopefully it helped some other people out as well. Just typing this out has helped me to feel better, and it beats being "Mopey, "Negative Nancy" Werner." We will see how this goes...hopefully it is for the best.

Spring Break!!!!!!!!...Minnesota

During Spring Break, some people go to different places across the country or even outside of the country. Some go on service trips to different places, some go to St. Louis for the MVC tourney. Others go to places with warmer climates, like Florida or California or Padre. I thought it would be a smart idea to...go to Minnesota for the third straight year :P

However, I really can't complain about it at all. While my weekend at home was my "vacation," I would consider this to be sort of a "retreat" in a way. The first half of my final semester has been kinda rough (as I have shared/vented/complained with others), and it has pretty much had me counting down to Spring Break since the beginning of February. I definitely didn't have the most wild spring break, but it was definitely the most fulfilling for me. In addition to this, it came at the perfect time, as it gave me a chance to clear my head for an extensive period of time...look back at all of my mistakes, things I did well, things I can improve on, and other aspects of my life. Spending a week in a different state, just being able to relax for an entire week, get away from school, and hang out with a few friends along the way has been fulfilling...and that includes our 5+ hour fantasy baseball draft.

The last half of the semester will be busy, with various school projects, Relay for Life, job hunting, etc. But this past week has definitely been a refresher for me, filled with good friends, relaxing activities...and much colder weather than other places. However, this will definitely help me before I head into the final one and a half months of my college career, which is exciting...and frightening.

Long Overdue Post Before Spring Break

Hello gang. Apologies for not being able to blog for a while. It has been a tough couple of weeks with school/midterms/trying to figure out what to do with my life/etc. But now that I am done with midterms (and yes, on Tuesday), I can finally relax.and be able to write this blog.

A couple of weekends ago (before what turned out to be another crappy week) I went back home to Lawrence, Kansas for the weekend...mainly it was to bring some of the stuff from my apartment back to Lawrence so I wouldn't have to worry about it later. However, I made the trip sort of like a mini-vacation for myself and sort of a "refresher." I got to be around my loving parents and my awesome miniature pinscher Brutus. It was just nice to be home and be away from the distractions and the stresses of Creighton, even if it was only for an evening on Friday, the whole day Saturday, and the morning on Sunday.

I admire my parents so much, and that admiration has especially grown since I have come to Creighton and been away from them. Both of my parents are currently working two jobs and are very successful. And they did all of this without graduating from college (which I didn't actually find out until I was applying for schools my senior year of high school). Before college, I would always seemed to get  annoyed with their constant bickering for me to do well and get better. But once I found out that they had not graduated from college, it showed me why my parents were so hard on me. As I went through my college career when I was away from my parents, but I feel like I am closer to my parents than ever before. And Brutus...there isn't much to say except Brutus helps to put a huge smile on my face even when I am feeling my worst. Just his energy and his canine enthusiasm just brighten up the room and makes me happy. It also makes my mom happy, which is really nice to see since our first dog passed away.

It was a good thing that I went home, because the week that followed was not my favorite...three tests, part of a project, and research for a project all due. Add some personal stuff going on, and you have a recipe for disaster. It wasn't as bad as the week that I describe in my previous blog post eons ago, but it was still not the best week. If I didn't go home the weekend before...I probably would not have handled this previous week as well.

To conclude, I would like to offer an apology to those who may follow me on Twitter. I know that over the past few weeks, my tweets haven't been too happy or pleasant at all. With homework, studying, being close to graduation, personal stuff (girl problem, some family stuff, etc.), it all just seems to hit me at once. And I know that since I have been some of in a downer mode, there have been people who may have not talked to me as much as previously, which is understandable (shrugs). But I would like to thank those who have asked me if I am ok and have told me to tweet more positively (Kevin Harrington). But now that Spring Break is approaching, I might be able to finally look forward to life again instead of being a complete Negative Nancy about it.We will see how things go after the break...hopefully a lot better for me.

(crosses fingers)

Confessions of a Bad School Week

For those followers/other friends that I have not really talked to over the past week, you probably did not know that I just went through my worst school week since I have been attending Creighton. Much of it was because of the fact that health-wise, it was the worst that I have felt since I was really young. The things that happened were not huge, life-changing things by any means. However, there were enough small things that happened during the week that seemed to pile on and make this a very rough week. Here is somewhat of a short, semi-detailed timeline:

Monday:

• Coughed and wheezed before the first school day of the week, which led me to only getting one hour of sleep before my first test of the week
• Had a nosebleed thanks to trying to blow my nose right before leaving for the first test, therefore having to walk to class and take the entire test with a tissue in my left nostril to hold the blood
• Eyes were completely bloodshot throughout the entire day. Had a bunch of people asking me if I was high (even though I don't smoke)
• Found out that the girl that I really liked...may, in fact, like someone else...therefore showing the world even more that my luck with girls is below average...although there is a possibility that I could be wrong...but I highly doubt it

 Tuesday:

• Coughed and wheezed again throughout the night, which led me to only getting one or two hours of sleep
• Skipped all three of my classes and had to get someone to cover my desk shift because I was not feeling well at all and my eyes were pretty much bloodshot again. One of those classes was a review class for my test on Thursday, in probably my hardest class

Wednesday

• Feeling a little better now...eyes are not as bloodshot, cough beginning to disappear...however, by the time that my night shift at the desk came around...I was pretty much out of energy...even to study for my huge test

Thursday

• Attended all three of my Tues/Thurs classes for the first time since the Tuesday of the previous week. One of the classes being a test which I did mediocre on, and the second class I could barely get through
• Couldn't take a break between 9 am and 9 pm, which was especially not fun since me being under the weather

Friday

• Ended up passing up thanks to some of the medicine that I had been taking...unfortunately it caused my computer to fall off of the bed and destroy the screen
• Got 10 hours of sleep...which was good...but on the other hand, the previous four nights I got about 10 hours of sleep

There were some positive things that went on this week, such as being able to sleep without coughing off and on, and lunch with the guys as usual on Friday. And I have taken a step back and considered the fact that things could be worse for me (E.g. I could have been in Egypt this past week). It was just sort of frustrating for me, considering the fact that my weekend had started so well (if you include Thursday night) and ended so poorly.

I know that most of these things that I worry about are minor and shouldn't be on the forefront of my mind...but sometimes...I can't help but to think about some of these things. One bright side...next week couldn't get much worse...could it?

Worries and Concern

My closest friend from back home is not doing well at all right now. He is working two jobs currently with terrible hours, his parents recently got divorced, and now it looks as if his family might have to move since they cannot afford the house that they live in. Currently he is emotionally drained and really does not know what to do about it. He has been through so much over the past few years that I have known him (I won't go into details), and I amazed and impressed that he has been able to get through so much so strongly. However, it hurts me to see him struggle and become sad like this, because I am not there personally to help him. While talking to him through facebook chat is great, actually talking to him in person would be much more helpful for both parties.

I, myself am going through some pains as well. While not nearly as bad as my friend, it still finds a way to take a toll on me. The job search has been somewhat stressful as I close in on graduation and a part of me just wants the semester to be over and done with. And for some reason, there may be a time where sooner rather than later, I may find out if luck is on my side or if I am on the wrong side of the coin once again...I am hoping that fortunes will, for once, be in my favor...but my skeptic side doesn't believe so

(Sigh) And I made the mistake of thinking that 2nd semester senior year was supposed to be the least stressful semester of my college career

My Group o' Friends/Entourage/Rat Pack/Breakfast Club

While people make numerous amounts of friends in their lives, every people has (or at least every person should) a main group of friends that they can rely on no matter what the situation may be. Vincent Chase has Eric, Turtle, and Drama; Alvin has Simon and Theodore; Snap had Crackle and Pop... (the list goes on and on). Throughout my college career, I have made met a lot of people and have made a very good amount of friends. Even with this, ever since the days of Freshman Leadership Program, Will Murphy, Nate Tye, Pat O'Malley, Scott Peak, and Mike Melaniphy are the ones that I would consider my closest friends on this campus.

Throughout my days in high school, I have bounced around as far as which groups that I would hang out with. Many of those friends from high school that I thought were close to me were not as close as I thought they were. Some people had others that they considered their closest friends, many of those people turned out to be real assholes to me and some of my other friends, and others were starting to become involved in activities that I didn't want to be involved in. It seemed like every "group" of friends that I was a part of, I somehow faded away from that group and now have lost pretty much all contact with.

During my time hear at Creighton, while the people that I hung out with or talked to on a regular basis changed over the past couple of years, my core group of friends has not changed. The five guys that I mentioned above I have known since freshman year because we were all in the Freshman Leadership Program. During the course of the year, we all learned more about each other and were able to become very close friends, our friendship seemed to grow even stronger sophomore year, since I lived with Scott, Mike, and Nate while Will and Pat lived next door to us. Even though we live in different places now with some people being RAs and others living off-campus, we still keep in contact through sending comical stuff through e-mail, and even meeting for lunch once a week.

There are many reasons why my "entourage" is so special. One thing that makes us unique is while we all have  interests in common, we all have interests that make us unique (some of them being related to our fields of study). Some examples include Mike's interest in art, Nate's interest in history and politics, and Scott's interest in journalism-related material. The cool thing about this is that we share those interests with each other and find aspects about the other interests very intriguing. Every day, you could say that we are finding out new stuff about each other. Another reason that the group of friends that I have is great is because for the most part, we get along with others that may not know the others well. Different people are able to join in on conversations with ease and feel comfortable around us.

However, there is one huge reason why I enjoy this group of guys that I hang out with. The reason is because when we are together, we don't try to be people we are not. What I mean by this is that we do not act all "macho" or try to change our personalities around others. The fact is that we are nerds, and we tend to act like it at times. We all have our unique personalities, but we seem to embraces our inner nerd when we are together. Our conversations can range to any subject from school to the most nerdy and outlandish subject such as Halo or the random things that we find on the internet and send to each other. In addition to this, none of us feel uncomfortable or "less-manly" talking about personal stuff to each other. We can talk to each other about anything personally, whether it be problems in school or problems with our personal life. There is nothing that we cannot talk about with each other, whether it be individually or with the entire group.

My core groups of friends have helped me to get through a lot of things in my personal life. Without them, I may have not enjoyed my Creighton experience as much as I have. While I may unfortunately lose contact with some of the people that have gone to Creighton, I know that these five guys will have a special place in my life.

Down With Ruts

Being in a rut absolutely sucks.


It sucks when you are in a less than stellar mood. Everybody has those days where things don't right for them...often called "off" days. I've had them. Everybody's had them. But what's even worse is having a very good day...and then just having something that brings down your mood for some reason. It it sad when even thinking about someone that makes you happy somehow is able to bring you pain. It just kills your entire mood and make things less cheerful.


It especially sucks if you are around other people. Although you are in a down and not-so-happy mood, you try to hide your sadness around others so that they don't know. It seems similar to the song "Tears of a Clown" by Smokey Robinson, when he says:


Just like Pagliacci did
I try to keep my surface hid
Smiling in the public eye
But in my lonely room I cry 


(Although the vast majority of the time I don't end up crying)


Maybe it is just a by-product of being by myself in my room, cause that where my ruts being most of the time. I just wish that I didn't feel this way...especially after what was a very good day.


Being in a rut absolutely sucks

About Myself (In 13...Yes 13...paragraphs)

In creating this post, there were some people that I felt knew who I was, but did not exactly know much about me personally. Therefore, I decided to come with a few things (13 to be exact) about myself and my life (WARNING: The last item may be a little bit longer than the previous 12). Hopefully this helps people to get to know me a little bit better. Enjoy!...or at least don't be turned off by its length

I was adopted as an infant. It’s one of those things that nobody really knows or really asks about until it is brought up because I really don’t mention it that much. Even I don’t know the story behind my adoption or who my “birth parents” are, for that matter. Many people have asked if I ever want to try and find my birth parents, and to be honest I am not really too eager to find out who they are. The reason for this is because I really don’t think about that aspect of my life at all, but it is kind of interesting to hear people’s reactions to finding out that I was adopted.

I am a very competitive person when I am playing a sport and hate to lose. I follow my old club basketball coach’s philosophy of being the guy who hates to lose, not the guy who loves to win. That being said, it is rough for me to play sports in a more casual setting than in a competitive s is because setting. During intramurals, I would sometimes tend to get a little too serious about the game and yell at my teammates like I would during time playing club basketball. Even losing in a casual setting is hard on me, which is why I don’t really play sports in organized/intramurals as I did during my high school days

I absolutely love to bowl. It’s one of the few things that I have been doing for a long time (since I was about 4) and am actually decent at it. I participate in leagues throughout my days living in Lawrence and bowled two years in high school. Not being able to bowl in a league or at all because of college is a bummer, but I am kind of glad that I am not in leagues anymore. Now, I just bowl for fun with friends (and yes, I do still use my own equipment). At times, it is kind of embarrassing because of the fact that I am sometimes the only one in my group that has their own bowling equipment. However, it has been nice to find a couple of people who also bowled in the past and have their own equipment. (My weird bowling superstition: I only give high fives with my non-bowling hand)

Basketball is another sport I like to play. I played basketball as long as I have been bowling, but I got burned out by competitive basketball. The reason for this is most likely because of the fact that I am a lot better at bowling than I was in basketball (although I was considered the best defender on my club team).  Still, I miss playing with my old teammates, who I played with for six to seven years. After participating in basketball, I tend to analyze a lot of things while watching college basketball or playing intramurals.

While I do love to watch and play sports, I also love to embrace my inner nerd at time. And no, I am not the “I read a lot of books and know information about a lot of history” nerd (although I am trying to read more). I consider myself more of an “I love video games and electronics and like websites that most people would not like” nerd. I have an Xbox 360 in my apartment and a Nintendo Wii at home. I am a fan of a bunch of different genres, such as platform game (old-school Sonic the Hedgehog), role-playing games (Final Fantasy & Mass Effect), and first-person shooters (insert Halo game here). I have a tendency to find some of the oddest things interesting…such as Major League Gaming for example (See? I told you).

I am very proud of my parents and everything they have accomplished, both of my parents work two jobs to help pay for my education….two jobs EACH. I love my parents with all my heart, but it is a shame that it took me so long to appreciate all they have done. Even more impressive is the fact that they were able to do this without graduating from college. Over the past few years, I have been trying to copy their work ethic in whatever I do.

I am somewhat of a perfectionist and am very hard on myself. When something goes wrong, I always seem to look at what I did wrong, not what others did wrong. That being said, I can at times tend to beat myself over some of the little things in life. However, I have learned that I should worry about trying to do things to the best of my abilities. Even with this, it doesn’t really stop me from trying to strive for perfection.

I am an only child in my family. It’s nice but at the same time kind of dull as well. There were times during my days in high school (and even in college) where I wished that I had an older (or even a younger) sibling to talk to, since my friends are not always available (and there were some things that I were not comfortable talking to my parents about). The closest thing I had to a sibling was my German Shepherd named Sonic. Unfortunately we had to put him down (July 22, 2008). My mom took his death the hardest, but fortunately she got a new dog (a miniature pinscher by the name of Brutus)…a dog that she drove to Oklahoma and back for.

My experience at Creighton has been awesome, all of the new friends that I met here are outstanding, and it has definitely changed my life. Lawrence is a nice city, but stepping out and exploring a new city has been very beneficial. While I did have some enjoyable times during my days in high school, some of the people that I went to high school with who I thought were my close friends turned out to be not-so-close. My experience towards the end of my high school career was very negative. You could definitely say that it was part of the reason that I decided to go to Creighton in the first place; just to get a fresh start on life.

I will be very happy when I graduate from college, with probably the greatest reason being that I will be the first in my immediate family to do so. The only two relative that I know who have college degrees are my uncle (Stanford), and my cousin who now works for Verizon. The scary part is just figuring out what I am going to do after graduation. While it is exciting to know that I will be working in the “real world” soon, it will be sad to know that my time at Creighton, which has been four of the best years of my life, will be over.

I get a little irritated when people talk crap on the business school because the classes are “easier” than those in the Arts & Science school. Honestly, if I wanted an easy way out of college, then I wouldn’t have come to Creighton. I’m sorry that business is something that I am actually interested in (apology = sarcasm). Management and marketing (specifically in sports) has been an interest for me ever since my junior year in high school, and hopefully someday in the future I will be able to go into sports marketing. There are times (as with any other student) that I am disappointed with my classes, and there are some times where I wish I could get more out of some of my classes in the business school. If I had to degree in the Arts & Sciences school, it would definitely be in psychology. Some of the classes I take for my management major are psychology classes, and I have enjoyed those the most.

I get absolutely sick of people thinking that being a certain race means that you have a certain personality. There is honestly no such thing as acting “black” or “white." Personality definitely does not have a skin color, but some people, in my opinion, are too ignorant to see that. I wish stuff like this wouldn't happen, but it’s something that I sadly have to deal with.  This problem was especially true in high school, but unfortunately I did not confront anybody about this until it was too late. Probably the worst thing was having somebody look over to a table with only black people, then looking at me and saying "Why aren't you over there with them?" There was one point where everything just boiled over, which resulted in a huge funk that affected some of my friendships and really altered my view on life and really helped me to mature as a person (as weird as that sounds). This is one of the reasons why I barely keep in contact with the vast majority of people that I went to high school with.

This is pretty sad for me to say, but sometimes I feel like I have the worst luck with girls (told you that it was a sad thing for me to say). I like to think of myself as a respectful, humorous human being who is not ugly (ok, at least not THAT ugly). However, when it comes to the whole dating/relationship/girlfriend thing, I don’t have the best luck. It didn’t help that I am absolutely awful at expressing my feelings towards a girl that I liked. In the past for some reason, I felt like girls would always become friends with me but none of them would want to progress the friendship to a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I always felt like I was missing some sort of “X-factor” trait in my personality or didn’t have the physical appearance or I was too much of a “nerd” and not really much of a “macho” person. In the past I would also tend to look at other couples around me and sometimes tell myself “Why can’t that be me?” or “Why would she pick him?!” Then when I would finally meet a girl that I liked and would be rejected after asking her out, things were even worse for me. I would tend to dwell on the issue for far too long, which would put me in a terrible mood and affect my personal life as well and, sadly, my schoolwork. Safe to say, I sometimes felt like a train wreck.

            Fortunately, I have been able to not get bummed out completely whenever these things do happen, and just learn from the experience and move on. It still hurts sometimes to look around and see couples holding hands or talking with each other and thinking why you aren’t feeling the same experience they are. I will admit, it even still sometimes can put me in a sour mood or a even a saddened mood. Even with this, however, I have just learned that I can only be myself and just look for ways that I can better myself as a person. If I find someone that truly likes me for who I am (even with the lack of muscles or how much of a massive nerd I can be at times), then that will be all well and good. I am confident though that I will actually have things go in my favor someday...hopefully sooner rather than later

Hello from NOT the front desk

For those of you who follow my Front Desk blog (a.k.a. the five of you (shrugs)), this is not a typo...or some sort of parallel universe blog. With the encouraging of others, I have decided to begin the works on my personal blog. Unlike the Swanson Front Desk blog, which will record some of the encounters and happenings at the Swanson Front Desk, I will be talking about myself and my life...which honestly, is not something I really do openly...unless somebody asks. I feel like while people may know who I am, they do not really KNOW who I am (if that makes any sense whatsoever). I feel like this blog will give me a chance to really show the type of person that I am, as well as maybe what I am going through as I finish out my college career and head out into the real world.

Hopefully the purpose of this blog makes sense in this introductory paragraph. Unfortunately, I have been in a rut the past couple of days, which is why my last desk blog was one of the worst of all time...so to speak. Hopefully, I will be in a better mood (a.k.a. a much happier mood) on future posts. Hopefully this blog will be much more insightful than my desk blog.

P.S.: This post is dedicated to the great Matt Dobbins